Your dad was into American Apparel before you and he’s got the plain shirts to prove it. He was a monochromatic madman who didn’t rep any brand other than his own. He knew all the Pantone numbers and looking into his dresser drawers was like looking into a kaleidoscope of fashion sense.
Your dad wore Art Attack sweaters before you did and he’s got the weavings to prove it. Since before Cosby was a prefix for it and parties were themed around it, your dad was rocking these glorious machine-knit pieces. His collection of knit Pollocks and wearable Warhols were the mullets of clothing, formal enough for work, yet wild enough to party in.
You dad wore jorts before you did and he’s got the short frayed denim to prove it. Living the three Rs, he Reused his life-wrecked jeans by Reducing their leg length and Recycling them back into his wardrobe as stylish Danny Dukes. Now every pair of faded favorites could have a second life as his favorite pair of shorts.
Your dad wore neon sunglasses before you did and he’s got the $10 knockoff Ray-Bans to prove it. Like a highlighter hugging his eye sockets, his shades were the awesome accent that made him stick out in a crowd. He was a life salmon that swam downstream when everyone else was trying to go up.